"New
Year’s resolutions is all mi heye and Peggy Martin," said ‘Erbert,
"Speak the truth and shame the devil – that’s t’only resolution
I ivver made."
Everyone
nodded affirmatively, except ‘Arry, who said "B-b-b" - but as
usual, no-one took any notice. ‘Erbert was on his best conversational
behaviour, his nearest approach to the bedside manner. So were ‘Arry and
‘Enery for that matter - they had to be, for Judd was in that
predicament described as "bad i’ bed" and they were in the
sick room on sufferance.
In
an effort to lower Judd’s blood pressure and accelerate his recovery,
Mrs Judd had disconnected the wireless and sent away the man who brought
the sports editions. Thus also she would undoubtedly have served ‘Erbert,
‘Enery and ‘Arry, but they had come to let the New Year in at Judd’s
express behest, so she contented herself by enjoining them not to talk
football.
‘Erbert’s
topical opening was in deference to her instructions, but the invalid was
not impressed. An air of tension hovered around the sick bed. "Look,
lads" he broke in petulantly, "how about some news?" ‘Arry
coughed and edged to the door, Judd ignored the interruption, "T’missus
has taken all t’football papers away," he complained pointedly,
At
the ominous word, ‘Enery arose and shuffled, ‘Arry let out a rasping
cough which shook the windows, and incoherently asked to be allowed to go
downstairs. Only ‘Erbert remained calm.
"Don’t
be rude, ‘Arry," he warned, "remember yor browtins up, What’ll
Judd think if his visitors go on like hooligans? You’re going to make
him worse." ‘Arry sat down, abashed and nervous, but Judd is not
the sort to let it go at that.
"I
knaw what’d put me on mi feet as sooin as ‘owt," he hinted’
"And
what’s that, Judd?" said ‘Enery, all solicitude and innocence.
Judd leered round craftily above the counterpane, "If one o’ yo’d
tell me how many points Featherstone won by." In the deathly silence
that followed, Judd’s eyes travelled all around the room, Then they met
‘Arry's.
"Owd
‘Arry’ll tell Judd," he weedled; "nivver baulk a sick man.
‘Ow many ‘Arry?"
‘Erbert
was shaking his head in a very obvious manner, ‘Enery was frowning, ‘Arry
was tearing his hat to shreds. Then he started to speak - the others
waited and watched in fascinated horror
"Th-th-th-they
d-d-d-didn’t win Judd." Swift change came over the invalid; he sank
back on the pillows. "Put t’leet off as you goa’ out lads."
was all that he said.
As
they went down the garden path, the storm broke on ‘Arry's head, ‘Erbert
was beside himself. "Criminal, that’s what it is, I nivver seed owt
soa cowd-blooded. Here’s me doin’ mi best ta make polite conversation
an' head 'im off..."
A
bubbling deep down in ‘Arry’s quaking throat indicated that the
culprit had something to say too. "C-c-coudn’t ‘elp miself, ‘Erbert,
it’s mi N-n-new Year’s resolution."
‘Erbert
stopped in his tracks, "An’ what’s that?" said ‘Enery,
with the voice of Nemisis. Cold and clear came the reply, without the
suspicion of a stammer; "Speak the truth and shame the devil."
